Over the Edge
by TDCSI
Summary: Sara finally snaps after seeing a guesome crime scene. Grissom tries to be there to pick her back up. But can he? GSR centered, violence. Please R
1. Prolouge

Over The Edge

Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and master producer Jerry Bruckhiemer. Even if we pooled all of our money together, we still couldn't afford it.

Rating: M, graphic scenes and sexual situations.

Starring: GSR, who else.

Summery: Sara finally snaps after seeing a gruesome crime. Grissom tries to be there to pick her back up. But can he? Takes place in early season six.

Chapter 1

Prologue

"_Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." Isaac Asimov_

Samantha Taylor cried into her knees as she sat huddled onto the small sofa. She was finally taking a stand against her abusive husband and locked him out of their small, run down house.

Gary pounded the door in a drunken rage. Every so often the banging would slow and then stop. She only hoped he had passed out. She kept her body curled protectively around her 7 month old fetus. After several months of abuse she was ready to leave. Her bags were packed, friends notified, but he came home early.

When she heard his car pull up, she locked both front and back doors. He had been brutally pounding the front door for 10 minutes. And it has been the longest ten minutes of her life. Once again the pounding subsided. Just as she was about to breathe a sigh of relief, a brick hurled through a window.

Gary broke out the rest of the glass and climbed in. She tried to run down the hall towards the bedroom but his hand tripped her up and she fell to the ground. In seconds he was on top of her, using his strength and weight to pin her to the floor.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going bitch? No one leaves me."

He laid a hard fist to the side of her cheek instantly breaking her jaw. She continued to fight. The instinct to survive taking over and boosting her adrenaline. But he was too strong for her. His fists connected with her face and body several more times.

Her body had finally taken enough and she drifted into unconsciousness. Gary rose and bound her hands and feet. He tied her hands to the sofa and her feet to the entertainment center. Her limp body was stretched out between the two pieces of furniture as he fetched a butcher knife from the kitchen.

Slowly he fell to his knees next to her protruding belly. And with a quick jab and pull on the blade, he sliced open her stomach. The combination of alcohol and adrenaline from the sight of all the blood that poured out, Gary passed out cold.


	2. Can't Go On

Chapter 2

Can't Go On

"_Strong reasons make strong actions." William Shakespeare_

Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows exited the Denali and approached the small run down house. They observed the condition of the front door before entering.

"Looks like someone tried to break in."

Grissom shined his flash light in the direction of the broken window.

"Looks like that someone succeeded."

They cautiously entered the residence. Grissom stopped next to Brass his mouth agape. Catherine's expression was the same as Gil spoke.

"My god what am I looking at?"

"Neighbors called in a domestic dispute."

"This isn't a domestic dispute Jim. This is cruel and unusual punishment."

"We found the husband passed out next to the body, knife in hand. After he woke up we took a Breathalyzer test."

"What did he blow?" Catherine had to know.

"A .22. I'm surprised he's not dead."

"He should be." Catherine watched as Grissoms light shined over the young woman's body.

The carpet couldn't soak up the blood fast enough as it rushed out so a pool surrounded the body. As he walked around towards her feet he kneeled and shined the light into the large incision. He could see the baby laying dead within it's mother. Quickly he stood placing his hand over his mouth to fight back the bile that rose from his stomach.

"I'm going to start processing here, Catherine could you take the outside?"

"Sure."

She quickly retreated out the door. Brass stepped forward.

"You okay Gil?"

"I just don't get people sometimes."

Just then a leggy brunette entered.

"Hey I heard on the scanner and thought...oh my God."

Her voice became a whisper as she placed her hands over her mouth.

"Sara."

Grissom had her by the elbow and quickly escorted her outside.

"Sara what are you doing here?"

She was still in shock from the sight as he sat her down on the curb. Sara glanced over to the intoxicated husband cuffed and covered in blood, sleeping in the grass.

"Sara. Sara!"

She began to hyperventilate as her brain went into overload.

"Sara, look at me. Look at me Sara. Deep breaths."

Grissom took her by the shoulders and began inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. She mimicked his breathing pattern until she was calm again. He rubbed her bare arms as she shuttered in the cool desert air.

It was her night off and Sara just thought he could use some help. So out into the night she headed. Only she never expected to see what she saw. Since her suspension for insubordination to Catherine and Ecklie, Grissom had tried to keep her off of domestic violence cases. But he never wanted her to see this scene. Hell he didn't even want to see it.

She kept her eyes on the ground. Only when he took her hand and placed it on his bearded cheek she looked up.

"Sara, I want you to go home. It's your night off and you need to rest. I can have an officer take you."

"No, I'm fine." she squeaked.

Grissom pulled her to her feet and escorted her to her car. He stood in the middle of the street until her tail lights faded into the darkness.

Catherine called to him and Grissom returned to the task at hand.

Many hours later he stood in the morgue with Doc Robbins.

"Cause of death?"

"Exsanguination from the abdomen."

"Was she conscious?"

"It's hard to tell. She has many facial fractures. X-rays show multiple healed fractures."

"So the abuse had been going on for some time."

"At least several months. Possibly more. Her body has taken a lot of damage over the last year. The baby she was carrying was about 7 months."

He moved to another table and pulled back the white sheet exposing the tiny body.

"The knife cut through the chest cavity killing her instantly."

"Ok, so if the knife hadn't cut into her, could she had lived?"

"It's possible. Immediate medical attention would have to of been taken. But I would say yes."

"Don't forget to put that in your report. I want to nail this guy on two murders."

Grissom stripped himself of the lab coat and headed back to his office. But he never made it.

"Hey Grissom. Have you seen Sara lately?"

"Briefly earlier. It's her night off. What do you need Greg?"

"Well I need to ask her a question about our case. But she's not answering either of her phones."

Grissom couldn't stop the look of concern that crossed his face. He pulled out his phone and headed for his car as he dialed her number. Greg was left standing in the hall with his files.

He continued to try both of her numbers as he sped his way to her apartment. Neither numbers were answered as he began knocking on her door. His persistent loud knocking brought out her neighbor.

"Can I help you?" A short, white haired woman asked.

"Yes. I'm Gil Grissom. I'm Sara's supervisor and we have been trying to reach her for the past hour. I'm concerened for her well being. She saw something awful last night and I want to make sure she's alright."

"I have a key."

"Thank you."

Grissom took the key and opened Sara's door. Her apartment was in shambles. The first thing he thought of was a home invasion. He continued to step around the items that lay about but something stopped him. Grissom kneeled and picked up the empty vodka bottle. Then he came across another one. Suddenly the smell flooded his senses. Vomit. He followed the retched sent to her bathroom, and upon trying to open the door he found it to be locked.

He knocked.

"Sara. Are you in there?"

Nothing. He placed an ear to the door hoping to hear something. Anything. Again nothing.

"Sara." He spoke louder this time, then again placed an ear to the door. Only this time he did hear something. A soft moan. So soft it was almost non-existent.

This time he stepped back and with a well placed foot next to the handle the door broke open.

"Sara!"

He fell to her side and rolled her to her back. Quickly he felt for her pulse. It was very faint. Her entire body was trembleing and was cold to the touch. The tears welled into his eyes as he took in her present condition.

"Damn it Sara. Don't do this to me. Hang on."

He grabbed a blanket from her bed and wrapped up her body. Grissom picked her up and rushed her to his Denali. Quickly he placed her in the passenger seat. In no time he was behind the wheel and once onto the street he turned on his emergency lights speeding his way to Desert Palms.

The large SUV squealed to a halt under the ER bay. He rushed to her side and as he pulled her out a nurse was quickly at his aid.

"What's the problem Sir?"

"Possible alcohol poisoning. I don't know how long she's been unconscious."

Once inside he place Sara on the awaiting bed and escorted her as far as they would let him. He stood and watched through the windows of the ER room as they proceeded to strip her of her clothes and started administering fluids. Even when she lay naked on the table he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He knew he should but he couldn't. They wrapped her in several warm blankets as a doctor entered an assessed her condition.

Grissom was asked to move to the waiting room and he would be notified as soon as they stabilized her. He headed back to the ER desk and a security guard approached him.

"Sir. Can we move your vehicle for you? That way you can remain in here."

He nodded as the guard headed off. Then another voice required his attention.

"Sir, I need you to fill out these forms for her."

He took the clipboard and looked over the forms. Grissom sat and filled them out to the best of his knowledge. A nurse took the papers from him and handed off a cup of coffee. He sipped the offending liquid as the longest hour of his life passed.

"Mr. Grissom?"

He looked up at the middle aged man with heavy, red rimmed eyes. The Doctor sat down next to him.

"We stabilized Miss Sidle. We had to pump her stomach, but since we don't know how long she has been unconscious or binging, she is scheduled for dialysis treatment within the hour to clear out the remainder of the toxins to reduce further damage to her liver and kidneys. The IV's are re-hydrating her body and we are using heated blankets to restore her body temperature. She's a very luck woman. I'd say you found her just in time. Any longer and she wouldn't of made it."

"When can I see her?"

"Once she's had her dialysis we will move her to a room. I want to keep her overnight."

"Thank you."

Grissom sat silent as the doctors words flooded his brain. 'Any longer and she wouldn't of made it.' He had no intention of checking up on her after he had sent her home. It was just coincidence that Greg had attempted to reach her. He pulled out his cell phone and called the one person that he could lean on.

"Willows."

"Catherine, it's me." his voice was scratchy.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

"I'm at Desert Palm with Sara."

"What!?"

"When you get a chance can you meet me here?"

"I'm leaving the lab now. I'll be there shortly."

"Thanks."

He hung up and continued to stare at the tiled floor. As he sat alone in the small waiting room he began counting the tiles to pass the time. Only a warm hand on his shoulder made him stop. Grissom looked at Catherine as she sat next to him.

"Gil. Tell me what happened."

"Do you want the whole thing or just the ending?"

"The whole thing."

He took a deep breath and proceeded to tell Catherine about how he found Sara. She rubbed his back as he found it hard to recall the events of the last few hours.

"I think she tried to kill herself Cath, I really do."

"Gil, we can't be so sure."

"Come on Catherine. When you and I have bad cases and we drink. It's just enough to dull the senses. She took it to the next level and binged."

"What do you think set her off?"

"I know what did. But I swore to her that I would never repeat anything she confided to me."

"It sounds like she needs help. She's finally burned out. This is the last straw for her. And you."

"What's that mean?"

"Between this job and you pushing and pulling on her, I'm suprised she lasted this long. You have to tell her how you feel. It's the only way. For her sake and yours."

Grissom took in a deep breath and held it. After a long slow release, he nodded to Catherine.

"Okay. But right now don't tell anyone else about this. Her binging or about me and her. Please."

"Don't worry. I'm here for you and you know that."

Just then the doctor entered and gave the update.

TBC


	3. Facing Facts

Chapter 3

Facing Facts

"_If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise." Robert Fritz _

Grissom stood in the door way and watched as Sara stared out the nearby window. He knew that she sensed his presents. Slowly he entered nearing her bed. He reached down and picked up her hand. She never turned to look at him. Grissom rubbed the top of her knuckles with his thumb as he sat on the edge of her bed. Still she never looked his way.

He used his free hand and brushed back the stray hairs from her face. Only when he raised her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss to the pale skin, she released the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Sara."

His voice was soft and full of concern. She still refused to look at him. He reached up and wiped the wetness from her cheek. Then he pulled gently on her chin forcing her to turn her head to look at him.

Regret filled her eyes. She didn't know why she drank that much. And she knew it was the first question he was going to ask.

"I've been worried about you. I thought I was going to loose you. Why Sara? Why?"

She just shrugged her shoulders. How could she answer his questions when she couldn't answer her own. His left hand remained in his lap holding hers as he brought up the other to caress her cheek. And before she knew it he leaned in and gently pressed his soft lips to hers. With a final kiss to her forehead he pulled her forward to his chest. She wrapped her arms around him hanging on for dear life.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed over and over into his shoulder.

He held her in his arms until she settled down.

"Don't leave me Griss."

"Never Sara. Never."

He remained at her side throughout the day and into the night. He refused to leave her. And as promised, she was released the next morning. Of course the Doctor had to recommend counseling. She scoffed at him but the look Grissom shot her way told her that she was fighting the inevitable.

She did have a problem. Her refusal to admit it had brought her to this point. She was knocking on the devil's door and it was Grissom who had rescued her.

Grissom drove her to his townhouse. He didn't trust her to be alone at her own place. That and it was a wreck and smelled of vomit. She stood like a frightened animal, refusing to move in the middle of his vast living room. He walked up and took her hand. Without words he led her to his bathroom.

"You can wear these for now. We'll pick up some of your clothes later. Get cleaned up and I'll make breakfast."

He placed another gentle kiss to her cheek and closed the door. Grissom sighed inwardly to himself as he headed to the kitchen. He spent several minutes preparing to make omelets when he noticed the silence coming from the bathroom. Curious, he moved back down the hall and gently wrapped on the door.

"Sara. Is everything ok?"

She didn't answer.

"I'm coming in."

He slowly opened to door as if he was giving her time to cover up. But as he looked over her, he realized she hadn't moved from the positron he left her. She was standing in front of the mirror staring at herself. Again he sighed. She was battling fiercely with her inner self. He moved to stand behind her.

"What's wrong with me Grissom?"

"Sara, nothing's wrong with you. You are just going through some tough times right now."

He caressed her shoulders.

"I can't explain to you why I did what I did. It wasn't' intentional. I just got so mad at everything." her voice cracked.

"Shhh. It's okay Sara. Come on you need to get cleaned up."

He turned and started the water in the shower. She still never moved. Almost if she was frozen in time. Grissom turned and noticed her. Something in her mind had snapped. What he didn't know but she was going to need more than just counseling. She was going to need a friend. A companion. And he was going to be what ever she needed to get out of this hell she was putting herself through.

The minute the idea jumped into his head he tried to fight it. But it was the only way she was going to get cleaned up. He stripped to his boxers and stood behind her. She never flinched.

"Come on Sara."

He turned her around to face him. Grissom hesitated as he reached for the hem of the green scrub top she was wearing. Gripping the bottom he searched her face for the slightest hint of disprovement. Her face remained blank. Slowly he lifted the top up and over her head. She remained neutral as he looked at her. His fingers traced her protruding clavicles to the hollow of her throat. Her skin extremely pale compared to his.

Grissom moved in and placed another soft kiss to her lips. His hands moved to the waist band of the scrubs. He worked them off of her hips and they fell to the floor. Steam was filling the room as he helped her step out of the flimsy pants. He removed his boxers and guided her into the hot spray of the shower.

He massaged her scalp as he worked in shampoo. Her eyes closed. She seemed to be enjoying it but he couldn't tell. After rinsing her hair of the shampoo and conditioner, he proceeded to wash her body. He stood in the water caressing her skin until the water began to cool. Quickly he wrapped himself in a towel and retrieved one for Sara. In no time he had her dry. Except for her hair.

Grissom helped her into his large blue bathrobe. It swallowed her. But it kept her from getting chilled. He dressed quickly in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. When he returned to the bath room she was gone.

"Sara. Where are you?"

He called out as he headed to the kitchen. She was rummaging through the fridge when he found her.

"Hey, I'm going to make up breakfast. Come over here and sit."

She sat at the breakfast bar and watched him prepare their meal.

"Can I have some coffee?"

He turned to look at her.

"Sorry, but no. You are not supposed to have any caffeine for a few days. Here drink this."

He set a glass of what looked like blood to her.

"Is this some kind of Grissom joke. What is this?"

"It's V8."

She heard his voice catch as he finished.

"You are way to thin Sara. It's obvious that you haven't been eating well for weeks."

She eyed him curiously and he released a small giggle.

"Just drink it."

He served up their omelettes. Sara did more picking with her fork than eating. Grissom watched her. This confirmed his suspicions that there was something seriously wrong with her. The night before last she drank her self to oblivion, spent a day in the hospital on fluids, and it's been over a day since she ate anything solid. Yet all she did was play with it.

"Sara. Eat."

She looked up at him and took a bite of her food. Slowly she made her way through half of her portion, then stopped. It was enough to satisfy him for now. Grissom cleaned up the dishes while Sara watched.

"Why are you doing all of this?"

The question nearly knocked the breath from him. He knew the answer, he just didn't know if he could say it.

"Because I care."

He hoped that would be a good enough of a response for her. But then again this was Sara Sidle.

"Why do you care?"

Grissom sighed and turned to face her.

"Sara, there is a lot I want to tell you, but right now is not the right time."

"Why not?"

He shut his eyes willing the small anger creeping up in him to go away. She stood and moved around to him and when he opened his eyes she was standing in front of him.

"Why is it so hard to say? Can it be that bad?"

"It's not bad. I just don't know what to do about it. And I'm afraid I might be too late."

She leaned into him and let her head rest on his chest as he placed his arms around her.

"You could never be too late."

She initiated it and he just helplessly followed along. The electricity was blinding as they passionately kissed. When they broke apart to breathe Grissom began to question her intentions.

"Sara. We need to slow down."

"I can't. You have no idea how erotic it was to have you take a shower with me. And after seeing you like that, it just makes the need for you stronger."

Grissom picked her up and walked back to the bedroom. He sat her down on the bed and she helped him out of the little clothing he had on. Again he questioned her motives.

"This isn't right Sara. You are not well. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

She undid her robe and let it slide to the floor.

"No, I'm taking advantage of you."

She pressed herself against him and kissed him deeply. Without breaking contact he laid her down on the bed and settled beside her. Sara's hand were roaming freely over every inch of Grissom they could reach. His mouth moved from her mouth down her neck following the trace of his hand until it reached a pert nipple. He sucked it in working his tongue around making Sara throw her head back moaning with pleasure. After tending to the other one she pulled his head up to give his mouth more attention.

Grissom moved carefully and settled between her thighs. She pulled on his shoulders encouraging him to enter her. Slowly he slid his steel erection into her wet heat. He let out a guttural moan as he sank as deep as possible into her. She kissed and sucked on his neck as he began to slowly thrust deep within her. Grissom felt her legs wrap around him pulling him deeper than he thought possible. He kept up the slow agonizing thrusts, grunting as he felt himself hit her cervix.

No words were spoken, only pleasurable moans and grunts were heard. Her breathing increased and became ragged. He knew she was close and began thrusting faster and harder until they could hold out no longer. Sara's eyes remained closed as she gripped his strong shoulders sinking her nails into his skin, and the bright explosion flashed in her eyes.

He felt her tighten around him as she climaxed. It was too much for him and with one final deep thrust, he released all his pent up emotion he held for her in that single orgasm. Both clung to each other as the aftershocks wore down. Grissom moved off Sara but held her close. He kissed the top of her head as their breathing returned to normal and sleep over took their weary bodies.

TBC

Should I keep going? I have several more chapters done already. One is kinda dark and explains what happened to Sara. Give me your input.


	4. Getting Help

Chapter 4

Getting Help

"_The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." Saint Jerome_

The evening sun was setting over the Nevada horizon as Grissom sat on his porch sipping coffee. Sara was still asleep in bed. He needed to think what to do with her. At times her head is on straight, and the rest of the time she's like a zombie. He couldn't get out of going into the lab tonight. They were wrapping up the Taylor case. It was one that Grissom was glad was over quickly.

He needed to find someone to stay with Sara. There was no possible way he was going to leave her alone. Grissom hid his scotch but that didn't mean she wouldn't try looking for it. It wasn't necessarily the alcohol he feared, it was why she was trying to drown herself in it.

A soft knock came at the door. He rose to answer it.

"Thanks for coming."

"Hey, it beats hanging around the lab. How is she?"

"Off and on. I can't put my finger on it Catherine. It's like one second she's the Sara we know, then all of a sudden she's gone and nothing but a shell stands in her place."

"I'm sorry. What can I do?"

"Your doing enough as it is. I appreciate this greatly."

"No problem."

"I going to go see if she's awake."

He walked to the bedroom and opened the door. Sara appeared awake, her eyes were open as she laid on her side facing the door. But she never acknowledged his presents. He sat on the bed and leaned over to kiss her.

"Sara. Catherine's going to stay with you. I have to go to the lab for a few hours."

She just blinked.

Grissom sighed.

"Come on you need to put on some clothes honey."

He pulled her up out of bed and put a pair of his pajamas on her.

"Let's go out into the kitchen and get some more food in you."

He took her hand and began slowly walking, she followed. Catherine sat in the living room when they came out. She stood and didn't recognize the person following Grissom.

"Oh my God."

"Like I said. Sara come over here and sit down."

He led her to the breakfast bar and helped her onto a stool. She adjusted herself.

"She looks deep in thought."

"I know. The lights are on, but nobody's home."

Grissom began preparing dinner with the help of Catherine. She kept looking over at Sara.

"I'm worried about her Gil."

"Hun. I'm way past worried. I'm even beyond terrified."

As he made Sara a stir fry, Catherine baked some chicken breasts for herself and Grissom. He was stirring the veggie's when he heard her speak.

"Are you going to work?"

Catherine spun around in shock. Grissom calmly replied.

"Yes honey. I have to finish a case. I'll only be gone for a few hours. Catherine is going to stay with you. Ok?"

"Do you have to go?"

"It's only for a few hours. If you need to just call me."

He spooned the veggie mixture onto a plate and poured her a shake.

"What's this?"

"Vegetable stir fry and a vanilla protein shake. Eat and drink. You know the routine."

She took several bites and a few drinks before the Sara they knew fell back into the darkness. Catherine turned around to see her absently moving her fork through the veggie's.

"Gil?"

He turned to look at her then sighed.

"I don't know what to do Catherine. She needs professional help. But I can't admit her. It would destroy her."

She placed a hand on his shoulder as he encouraged Sara to eat some more. While he was attending to her she finished their meal. They ate standing in front of Sara while she continued to move her fork about the plate.

Grissom grabbed her hand.

"Sara, eat."

She took a few bites while he ate and watched. Catherine's heart broke as she watched the exchange between the two.

"Here, drink."

Sara took a few sips from the straw then went back to moving the fork around. Grissom looked at Catherine and saw the tears in her eyes.

"What?"

"I can't believe this. One moment she's normal. She's Sara, the next...it's like a..." She couldn't finish.

"I know. And I took advantage of her." he hung his head waiting to the pummeling from Catherine.

"What do you mean took advantage of her?"

"She was herself. Asking me questions of why I was caring for her. I told her. Not all of it but I think she got the hint. Then one thing led to another."

"Gil Grissom! She's sick."

"I know damn it. I tried to stop her several times."

"Well, obviously not hard enough."

"I kept asking if this was what she wanted. And the next thing I know I'm..."

"Stop. I know what sex is. You don't need to describe it to me."

"Sorry."

"Gil, I know I'm preaching to the choir here but, both of your emotions are running on high octane fuel. It was only a matter of time, but don't you think you could of kept it in your pants for a while longer?"

He glared at her as he picked up Sara's plate. Catherine helped him clean up while Sara sipped on her shake.

"I'll finish here. Do you want her to go to bed or what?"

"Yeah, she needs all the rest she can get right now. Sara." He took her hand and helped her off of the stool. "Come on honey lets get you into bed so you can rest."

When Grissom returned Catherine was watching the TV.

"Go Grissom. She'll be fine."

"Thank you again."

He gathered his things and headed out. Catherine jumped up and went to the window. She made sure he was really gone before calling up the one person who she knew could help.

"Hey Sam. I need a favor."

* * *

Grissom sat behind his desk reading through his messages. He heard nick and Greg emerge from the locker room preparing for the nights events. He knew they would ask about Sara. They didn't know the details of what happened to Sara, but with her absence the questions were bound to arise.

He gathered the evenings assignments and headed out into the inevitable.

"Alright guys calm down."

"Hey Griss, where's Sara?" Greg had to ask.

"She's taking some time off. And since it's Catherine's night off, it's just us guys."

"Whoa, Sara never takes time off? Is she sick?" Nick sounded concerned.

"I'm sure she's fine." his stomach churned at the thought of Sara in her current condition. "Nick take Greg, 419 in the alley behind the Sphere. Warrick your solo, someone took a swan dive off the roof of the Palms. I have some finishing up to do with Brass."

They all parted ways and soon Grissom found himself in the observation room watching Brass interrogate Gary Taylor. The man made Grissom absolutely sick. Even sober the man made no sense.

"Mr. Taylor, why did you cut open your wife's abdomen killing her and the baby in the process?"

"She was going to leave me."

"Well can't say that I blame her. You did quite the number on her over the years."

"That bitch didn't appreciate anything I gave her."

"Oh, really. Like she never did anything for you."

"Why are we doing this? I killed her. I killed her..." he broke down at the realization of what he had done.

Brass left to stand by Grissom as an officer took Mr. Taylor to lockup.

"So. How's Sara?"

Grissom turned his head with an eyebrow raised.

"What? She's fine."

"Listen Gil. Between you and Catherine, I can read you guys like a book. So I interrogated her a little. She told me what happened. Is she alright?"

"Physically yes. Mentally..."

He laid a hand on Grissoms shoulder to show his support.

Grissom headed back to his office to sign some paperwork. After Warrick, Nick, and Greg returned to the lab and checked in with him, he headed back home.

He crept in the door. Trying not to disturb anyone. Catherine was asleep on the couch so he left her be and headed off to be with Sara. Grissom opened the door, stripped down to his shorts and climbed in next to Sara.

"Mmm. Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Go back to sleep honey."

He kissed her cheek and curled up to her back.

The sun shined into the room waking it's occupants. Grissom rolled over to glance at the clock. Ten o'clock.

"Sara."

No response. He sighed and moved to see her face. She was awake, but that's all she was. Grissom moved to get dressed and head into the kitchen.

"Hey sleepyhead. How's she doing?"

"She was fine last night, but this morning's a different story."

"Gil, about what you said yesterday. What if I knew what we could do."

"Why do I not like where this is going?"

"Just hear me out. I talked with, well I know someone who knows this great facility in Ft. Collins, Colorado. And he's willing to help you get Sara in."

"Catherine, I'm not admitting her."

"Jesus Gil, wake up will you. Her mind is lost. It's trapped between reality and la-la land. I think she did more than just vodka if you want my opinion."

"I didn't ask for it."

"You won't technically be admitting her. It's a facility where you can stay with her. She needs help. The kind you can't give."

"Does Sam know I'm involved in this?"

"Does Sam know?"

"Catherine, you tried to beat around the bush too many times. Besides who do you know could pull off something like that?"

"I even got him to let you take the jet. So there. What?"

"I need to fill her place at the lab. And I don't want to. But I also don't want her exposed to anymore of the shit we see day in and day out. It's just too much for her. Especially after this."

"I agree. That's why the crew is coming over for lunch. So we can explain what happened with her. They deserve to know."

Grissom agreed.

"Oh, you two leave this afternoon."

Noon rolled around and Warrick, Nick, and Greg were right on time.

Catherine knew Grissom didn't want to be the one to tell them so she stepped up to bat for him.

"Where's Sara?" Greg always the first to notice her absence.

"She's here Greg. In fact that's why you guys are here."

Catherine explained everything that happened to Sara in the last two days. Nick's frustration got the best of him and he stood to confront Grissom.

"You told us she was fine. Doesn't sound like she's fine to me."

"Nick." Catherine warned.

"No Cath, you don't get it. Griss looked us right in the eye last night and blatantly lied to us. He lied about Sara's health."

Grissom ducked his head in shame. He hated lying to them but at the time what choice did he have.

"Gil is taking Sara to a place in Colorado for some time. She needs help and we, as her family are going to support her."

"You mean he's tossing her in a nut house." Nick thought he could get away with another shot below the belt. He was wrong.

"No. That's not what I'm doing. She needs help and I'm going to see that she gets the best. I'll be staying with her making sure she has moral support. And I would appreciate it if you would be a little more supportive of our decision."

"Griss." The soft voice carried into the room and everyone fell dead silent as they turned to face Sara.

She shuffled her way up to Grissom clad in his pajamas.

He was sitting on the arm of the couch as she walked up and settled herself in his lap. Grissom wrapped his arms around her. It was her security blanket. He kissed her hair.

"Honey, what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't find you. So I came looking. Hi guys."

They said brief hellos and watched in awe as Sara and Grissom talked.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, just thirsty."

Catherine went to get a glass of water and bring it back as soon as she could muster it. It was only a matter of time before she slipped away and getting her to eat or drink anything was near impossible. She handed Grissom the glass.

"Here."

He held the glass as she sipped the water through the straw. She nearly drank the whole glass. Then she relaxed and settled back into his chest. Her breathing evened out, but her eyes remained open.

"Gil?"

"I know."

They others didn't get it at first.

"Sara. Lets get up."

He helped her stand and turned her to face the group. When they all saw the blank stare she possessed neither had second thoughts about Catherine and Grissoms decision.

"Come on lets go."

He tugged on her hand and she followed him back to their bedroom. Catherine continued.

"See what we are talking about. I stayed here last night and watched her. She comes and goes."

Nick apologized to Grissom when he returned to them. They gave him their well wishes and left.

"I'm going to leave you in charge of finding a replacement for her. I don't think you will have a problem finding anyone."

"Yeah. The lab's got a great reputation thanks to you."

"For now, it's your lab."

She hugged him and left him with his thoughts.

TBC

* * *

I have a lot written so far. Thanks to those who want me to continue. Your reviews are very much appreciated. I'll admit it gets kinda dark. But if you can stick with me I'll try to nake it worth you wild. Again thanks to those who reviewed. I'll post the next chapter shortly. 


	5. Institution

Chapter 5

Institution

"_You should pray for a sound mind in a sound body." Juvenal_

Catherine entered the lab with large cloud of emotion hanging over her. She was the one who was left in charge of finding a replacement for Sara. Sooner or later she knew that the time would come where one of them was going to be replaced.

She slid the key into the lock, but hesitated before turning it. Looking through the crack in the blinds, she glanced at the many jars lining the shelves. They reflected the little bit of light the office had to offer making them sparkle. She turned the key and entered.

After placing a few pages, she started filling out Grissoms leave of absence form. She startled herself at how good she was a forging his signature. Must be all the years of helping him with paper work.

"Hey. Did you see them off?"

"Yeah. Warrick, can I ask you something?"

He took a seat in front of the desk and nodded.

"Grissom asked me to find a replacement for Sara. A permanent one. But I think that if she gets better, knowing Sara, she would be begging to come back."

"Catherine." he interrupted. "I know this is hard on you. Hell, it's hard on all of us right now. We really care about her. But we need to look at things rationally. What if she does get better, what if she doesn't? In my opinion I don't think she should come back."

"He's right Catherine." Nicks voice carried in from the doorway. "The only thing we can do for her right now is be supportive. And I don't think she should come back to the lab either. I don't want to see her go through anymore suffering."

"I know guys, but I just don't want to be jumping the gun here."

"Let's just take now for now, and we will worry about Sara when the time comes for our concern for her here. And just focus on supporting her well being."

"Thanks Warrick. Nick."

* * *

It only took the small jet a little more than an hour to reach it's destination. The two passengers carefully stepped off only to be greeted by a black Cadillac. Their luggage was placed in the trunk and were driven an additional half an hour to their goal.

Upon arriving Grissom noticed the extravagant detail in the architecture as they approached the large residence. Right down to the landscaping. The place looked very elegant. As he helped Sara out of the vehicle an older gentleman approached them.

"Hello. Welcome. I'm Dr. Rick Taylor."

"Gil Grissom and this is Sara Sidle."

"Pleased to meet you."

Grissom could tell that right away he was making an evaluation on Sara. To him that meant he was a dedicated professional.

"Let me show you to your room."

He led them through the halls, and to Grissoms surprise, it looked like a large house. Once thet reached the end of the corridor he extended his hand and opened the door.

"This is your room. I was informed that you will be staying with Sara." Grissom nodded. "It's set up like an apartment, we even provide the groceries."

Grissom walked in and had to stand in awe at the sight. A large living area was connected to a small but useful kitchen. The entire place was fully decorated. A short hall led back to a large bedroom complete with king sized bed and the bathroom was a little over the top but knew he would enjoy the jacuzzi.

"Dr. Taylor, this is more than expected."

"Well, Sam said that you were very good friends of his daughter's and that he wanted nothing but the best."

He continued to explain all the amenities to Grissom. "I want to do an evaluation of her in an hour. I'll send someone to retrieve you."

Grissom put their clothes away as Sara began to venture around the living area. He didn't know if this whole excursion would help her, but he had to try. By the time he finished putting things away there was a knock on the door.

"Mr. Taylor is ready for you now."

"Okay. Sara, honey lets take a walk."

He took her hand in his as they followed the woman who summoned them. Grissom thanked her again as they entered a room that resembled a personal library. The towering walls were loaded with book. Grissom found himself in awe as he took in the sight before him.

"Ah, Mr. Grissom and Miss Sidle."

"It's just Grissom and Sara. This room is..." he was rendered speechless at the library.

"Thank you . I chose to do her first evaluation in a room that would seem to appeal to her."

Grissom looked at him confused.

"I don't begin treatment without a little background information."

"Just how many people are you treating at the moment?"

" I have two other patients and my wife has four. We like to keep things on a personal level. For this evaluation I want to only observe. I need to get an idea of what's going on."

Grissom kissed the back of her hand.

"Sara, I'm going to look over some books."

He walked over to one wall and began to run a finger over the spines of the many leather covers. Sara stood in the middle of the room and looked around. A part of her was scarred out of her mind, the other part wanted to attack the books and expand her knowledge. In the end, the latter won. She slowly moved to the opposite wall as Grissom and slowly eyed the books. After several minutes she made a selection and sat down on the plump sofa to read. Grissom selected a book and sat near her to begin reading himself. He looked over the top at Dr. Taylor occasionally and watched him watch Sara.

"Grissom. Do you have any water I'm thirsty?"

He stood and retrieved the water bottle that he had brought and handed it to her. In a way he was relived that she was drinking. He worried about dehydration. But so far she was getting enough. She stopped drinking and the book slipped from her grasp. Grissom grabbed the bottle before she dropped it too. As he looked into her eyes that familiar darkness greeted him. He sighed loudly and sat next to her and resumed reading his book.

Dr. Taylor was leaning over looking at Sara's blank expression. Grissom couldn't help but stop and watch him. He slowly slid from his chair and inched his way in front of Sara.

"Fascinating."

Not exactly the words Grissom was expecting to hear. Quite the opposite in fact.

"Has she experienced anything traumatic before she began working with you?"

Grissom nodded. He knew exactly what the good doctor was getting at.

"She told me several months ago about her parents and such. Do you think that has something to do with what's going on now?"

"Maybe. I think she's experiencing a kinda split personality so to speak. The part of her that's around doing some normal things is the Sara you all know and love, but is very hesitant about things. But the other, it's obviously hiding something. And by the way she drops off into nothingness. It's a big something."

Again Grissom sighed.

"I want to see her first thing in the morning. I'll send someone around 8."

And with that he left. Grissom stood and helped Sara to her feet. On the walk back to their room she stopped suddenly. He turned to face her never letting go of her hand.

"Sara. Are you ok?"

"Griss, what's wrong with me. It's like one minute I see you then the next I see myself in blackness."

"It's ok. That's why we're here. Dr. Taylor wants to help you. I want to help you. Come on. We have had a long day."

He led her back to their room. She settled in on the couch while Grissom rummage through the freshly stocked fridge. He was amazed at the food selection. They ate in peace then headed to take a shower. Grissom showered with her again then dressed her for bed.

They settled under the covers of the large bed. Sara curled up as close as she could into his side. Grissom placed his arm around her and pulled her closer. In no time she was asleep but it took Grissom a while longer to join her. His mind raced with concern for her. He turned his head and looked out of the window at the moon and stars over the mountains. The scenery brought him comfort and soon he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

TBC


	6. A Little More Information

Chapter 6

A Little More Information

"_No passion so effectively robs the mind of all it's powers of acting and reasoning as fear." Edmund Burke _

For a moment he forgot where he was. Waking up in the large comfortable bed slowly brought back his senses. He looked at the night stand to check the time. Grissom jumped up and turned to find Sara gone. He placed a hand over the sheets to find them cool. She had been gone for some time. He pulled on a robe and went into the living area.

Sara was standing looking out the large bay window. He cautiously approached her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Mmm. Good morning."

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long. It's beautiful isn't it."

"Yes." he kissed her head.

"I meant the view silly."

"It's beautiful too. Do you want some breakfast before seeing Dr. Taylor?"

She didn't answer.

"Sara."

"Sure."

He made them a small quick breakfast while Sara got dressed. Grissom set her plate on the table and went to change himself. When he returned he could tell she was troubled. He kneeled down next to her.

"Do you want to tell me what's on your mind?"

She shook her head as a knock sounded from the door. He opened it to find the same assistant as last night. They followed the woman to an office with large bay windows looking to the mountains.

"Ah, Sara. It's good to see you again. How did you sleep last night?"

Grissom could tell that she didn't want to answer him. He smiled at Dr. Taylor ton indicate that things were fine.

"Please have a seat. First things first. Sara, it's up to you. Do you want Grissom to be here?"

She paused for a long time. To Grissom that meant yes and no. She wanted him there with her for comfort, but she also didn't want him there afraid of what he'll hear. Sara looked at Grissom and without words he knew her answer.

"I'll be in the library reading."

He kissed her cheek and left them. Dr. Taylor began.

"Sara, I want to help you so in order for me to do that I need to understand where you are coming from. I want to ask you several questions and you can respond however you feel comfortable. Some people like to walk around, others stand and stare out the window. It's up to you. But here's my first question, I'll start simple. Why did you move to Las Vegas?"

She smiled at the memory and began to explain her reasons.

"I was working in the San Francisco Lab when Grissom had called and told me he needed my help. That a fellow CSI had been shot and wanted it to be handled internally. He said that he trusted me and that I was his friend. We knew each other from years prior. I have always had a thing for him. If that's what it's called. So I was more than willing to help."

"Well I'm glad to see you two together. How long?"

"Um, about a week I think. It took him a few years to warm up to me."

"Well he's a man of many emotions and fears. So since you had this 'thing' for him, how did it affect your working?"

"It was fine at first. Then we kinda flirted subtlety back and forth. I worked up the nerve to ask him out and he turned me down flat. It was hard on me."

"What did you do in response to his refusal?"

"I remember going to this club the night he took leave. I had several drinks at the bar and a few guys hit on me. I was far from shitfaced, but I was drunk." He noticed her eyes welling up and thought, 'This is it.' She hung her head as she paused.

"The only thing I kept thinking about while drinking was Grissom and all of the emotional pain he had caused me over the years. I got in my car and slowly made my way home. I know dumb idea. When I reached my apartment, I noticed several men getting out of a car across the street."

He watched as her eyes widened and the pupils dilated. He grabbed his phone and had someone retrieve Grissom. Sara continued to stare at nothing as he observed her facial expressions.

Grissom entered the office and went to Sara. He took her hand in his and kissed the knuckles gently. She gave no reaction.

"Mr. Grissom would you escort her back to your room and then return. I need to ask you a few questions."

He put Sara to bed then returned to Dr. Taylor's office.

"I don't normally do this but I need to ask you some things about what your relationship was like with Sara before the spring of...2003?"

Grissoms eyes widened.

" The lab blew up injuring my DNA tech and Sara was hurt. Right after that I had surgery to correct my hearing."

"She had mentioned something about asking you to dinner."

Grissom inhaled and exhaled several slow breaths. That moment has haunted him ever since.

"Mr. Grissom?"

"Yeah. She did."

"And you refused her offer?"

He hung his head. "Yes. Everything was coming at me at once. The lab, my hearing, then her offer. I'm not a very social person and I must admit I was a little blown away by it."

"Do you know what she did in retaliation?" He paused. "Ok. More specifically, after the explosion and before the surgery. What happened between you and Sara?"

The shock was evident on Grissoms face. He knew exactly what happened. How could he forget something like that.

"She had asked me to dinner and I turned her down. I had a lot going on and I just couldn't."

"I see. Did you ever see her anytime after that?"

"No. Why?"

"She began to tell me what she did several nights after you turned her down on the dinner invitation. But she froze up. All I got was alcohol and some men getting out of a car. Then she went blank. I was wondering if you knew any thing about this?"

"No. I have no idea."

"Well when she began to remember this when she froze up. Something happened to her that night. Did you ever see her before your surgery?

"No. I was scheduled for the same day I took leave. I didn't tell anyone but Catherine about my procedure."

"Whatever happened to her she obviously kept silent."

"That doesn't sound like Sara. She would of reported it if anything happened to her. She would of told me."

"Mr. Grissom, I don't mean to sound blunt, but after your dinner refusal she was very depressed. And I think you were the last person she would of wanted to talk to after that."

He wasn't surprised at Dr. Taylor's observation. Obviously he was taught to observe people to learn their deepest secrets and help them deal with them.

"I guess your right. I wouldn't of wanted to talk to me either."

"Does she know about your surgery?"

"I think she might suspected that it wasn't a vacation, but I don't think she knows the details."

"Why don't you sit down and tell her. It might help her cope with whatever she's dealing with. It's something that's so bad that she's been hiding it deep down for some time now. And whatever it is in my opinion, is the cause for her zoning out. When she was unconscious from the alcohol poisoning her brain was probably shutting down. Now it's trying to reboot, and these bad memories that she's been dealing with have come to surface. Her brain isn't dealing with all information that she's been hiding."

"Do you think if she's able to tell what happened, she will get better?"

"In time, yes. But as I said it will take time and more therapy."

Grissom slowly walked back to their room. Upon entering he found Sara curled up on the couch looking out the bay window. He moved up behind her, placed his arms around her as he pressed his chest into her back and gave a light squeeze. He inhaled the smell of her hair as he put his cheek against hers and looked out the window with her. They sat together enjoying the scenery and each others company.

TBC

Thanks to you all who reviewed and sticking with this story. I have been writing a storm and just finished chapter 11. I must admit that it gets good. Several reviewers say I need a beta. So if anyone wants the task let me know. I have a few interested in the job but I will humor others. Thanks for reading and I will update soon.


	7. The Secret

New chapter. And it's awesome thanks to my beta's, Just Thinking and GSfanatic. You guys rock. And I couldn't wait any longer to post this chapter. It's been eating a hole in my computer.(lol)

Chapter 7

The Secret

"_If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees." Kahlil Gibran _

They sat in the comfort of each other for hours. Grissom thought about what Dr. Taylor told him. He sighed deeply.

"What's on your mind?"

"Sara. Do you remember a few years ago when I took time off of work for a few months?"

"Yeah. Didn't you take a vacation or something?"

"Kinda." His heartbeat and respiration sped up. Sara quickly noticed the change and turned to face him.

"This can't be good if it's so hard to say."

He smiled at her observation.

"It's just something that I should have told you a long time ago, but you know me, I couldn't bring myself to."

"So why now?"

"Because I've always wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of how you would look at me if you knew."

"Grissom, there is nothing that can make you look different in my eyes."

"Remember after the lab explosion when you asked me to dinner in my office?"

She nodded.

"Well, I was actually on my way to see my doctor to have surgery to correct my otosclerosis. I was slowly going deaf. It's true that at the time I didn't know what to do about 'this'. But with everything else that had happened, it just came at the wrong time and I didn't know what to do. I know I told you 'no' very fast. It just came out as I was thinking about my hearing. If I had lost my hearing I would have lost my job and you. I didn't want that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. It's just one of those things that once people know about they seem to treat you differently. I wasn't willing to let that happen."

Sara just took all of this information in stride which shocked him.

"Grissom, I wish you would have told me sooner. You know I wouldn't have treated you any different."

"I know, but I was afraid that you would think of me as less of a man."

She giggled. "Ahh, no. I'm not that shallow. Grissom I love you. Always have, and I know I always will, 'cause every time I tried to get you out of my head, you somehow managed to re-invade my thoughts."

He dipped in and slowly pressed his lips to hers enjoying their softness.

"Grissom, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How long have you been attracted to me?"

"Since the moment I laid my eyes on you."

"Me too." She leaned in to kiss him. Only hers wasn't just a kiss, it was one of passion and desire eliciting a moan from him as he adjusted his position. He slowly laid her back down to the couch and rested on top of her using his arms to support his weight. They continued making out until things became more heated.

Sara had his shirt off in record time and her hands were roaming his back as if they were lost. She pushed him off of her with a gentle push from her hands. Sara stood in front of him and removed the rest of her clothing. She then proceeded to help him undress. He was rock hard under his boxers and she took his erection in her hand and squeezed gently. Grissom moaned and thrusted into her hand as she slowly moved her hand up and down his shaft. She released him and moved to the couch. Sara kneeled on the cushions with her legs hanging off the edge and grabbed the back with her hands. She turned her head to see Grissom quickly catch on and move in behind her. His hands moved over her back to her rounded cheeks. One hand moved down between her thighs to see if she was ready for him. She was more than ready, so with one hand he placed himself at her entrance and the other was locked to her hip. He slowly pushed through her folds to sink himself deeply into her. She sucked in a sharp breath as he entered her.

With both of his hands on her hips, Grissom stood behind her and watched himself slowly push in and out of her. As their climaxes became eminent, Grissom reached up and grabbed her hair as he continued to thrust into her. At the first tug Sara suddenly tensed. Her whole body became stiff, and Grissom immediately stopped. He released her hair and leaned over her.

"Sara. What's wrong?" He asked breathing heavily into her ear.

He got no response. He moved her hair and kissed the her neck gently as he slowly continued to thrust making long deep strokes. As he began moving again he noticed her arms were beginning to shake as her nails dug into the back of the couch. Grissom stopped again. She never released her hold as he heard her whisper.

"Just get it over with."

He sighed and pulled out of her, but continued to cover her back.

"Sara, I'm not going to keep going if you are uncomfortable. Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry."

He used his hand and turned her face so he could see her eyes. Her pupils were large and seemed like black holes. Grissom knew that something he had done in the process of their lovemaking had sent her back. What that was he wasn't sure, but whatever she was dealing with related to sex, he concluded. And at that moment he only thought the worse.

Grissom put his shorts back on and went to retrieve a blanket. He was surprised to see that even though he was so close to ejaculating, it was quickly forgotten.

He returned to wrap Sara in the blanket with him and held her as she internally worked though her demons. Even as she fell asleep in his arms, Grissom kept holding her.

Only when he decided to make them something to eat and use the bathroom, did he separate himself from her. She continued to be in a dazed state as he retreated back to the bedroom. When he returned, Grissom could tell by the way she looked at him that she was back.

"I'm sorry." It was barely a whisper but he heard it.

"Sara." he started as he sat down beside her, "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"It's just..."

"Shhh." He interrupted her by placing a finger on her lips. "Forget it. Now, what do you want to eat?"

"Leave it up to you to change the subject."

"Yup. Now, the subject of food. I'm hungry."

She helped him make their dinner. Grissom realized that ever since they had left Las Vegas, she was less distracted. More and more she was returning to the Sara that he knew. But every now and then, something would happen and she would retreat back into the darkness.

The first week in Ft. Collins flew by. Dr. Taylor was still unsuccessful at getting Sara to reveal what had occurred later in the evening after Grissom's dinner refusal. He and Grissom knew that in order for the healing to begin, she needed to tell that little bit of information.

It was then Dr. Taylor had offered them a different approach.

"Sara, whatever this is that's stuck in your head, it's very bad I can tell. Whenever you get close to bringing it out, you go blank. I want to hypnotize you."

Grissom and Sara's faces remained blank.

"I think it would really help. I have a good friend who is here now that can do it. It's very safe and effective in many cases. Would you be wiling to give it a try?"

She looked at Grissom and he looked at her.

"It's up to you honey."

Sara just nodded, too scared to answer. Dr. Taylor stood and went to open the door. He called a name neither Sara nor Grissom had never heard before. In mere moments a tall man of around 6'5" and slender with a pale complexion stood before them. Sara giggled and suddenly all eyes were on her.

"I'm sorry. It's just that you remind me of Lurch."

Grissom raised an eyebrow and Dr. Taylor looked as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

"It's okay. I get that a lot. I'm Dr. Spencer."

He held out his hand and she shook it. Then he offered it to Grissom.

"If you are ready we will start."

Sara nodded.

"Dr. Taylor, Mr. Grissom if you will excuse us I will get her ready."

Dr. Taylor stood and left, Grissom gently kissed her.

"I'll be right outside. It will be alright."

She forced a smile as he left.

"Ok Sara. I want to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. We need to get you relaxed."

Sara closed her eyes and listened to Dr. Spencer's direction.

Grissom paced in the hall as Dr. Taylor began to evaluate him. He kept it to himself but decided that this man needed some guidance as well. The door opened and Dr. Spencer invited them back in.

Grissom was instructed to sit in the chair across from Sara. He looked into her eyes. To him she looked awake and lucid.

Both Doctors sat down and Dr. Taylor started the questions.

"Sara, after your shift you said you went out. Where did you go?"

"I went to the Crazy Eight Club."

"And after that, where did you go?"

"I went home."

"Did you notice anything when you got home?"

"A car parked across the street and three men got out."

"Then what?"

TBC

Thanks to all who have been reviewing. Keep them coming.


	8. Mind Over Matter

Once again, I must give credit to my beta's Just Thinking and GSfanatic. You guys are going to make this story that much better.

Chapter 8

Mind Over Matter

"_Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." Michel de Montaigne_

It took a few moments for Sara to respond.

"I was unlocking my door and as I opened it they were pushing me through the front door."

Grissom's fingers were digging into the arms of the chair as she continued.

"I fell to the floor. They ripped my clothes off of me and two held me down while the first one raped me."

* * *

"_Get off of me!"_

_Sara struggled and tried to scream. One of the men took her sock and tied it around her head gaging her. She still tried to scream. It was instinct to scream. _

"_Hold her down."_

_One man commanded as the other two took her by the arms and held her down. She struggled and tried to kick at the man maneuvering himself between her legs. He placed his hands on each of her knees and pushed them apart. But Sara struggled so much he couldn't enter her. _

"_Damn it help me!"_

_One of the men put her wrist under his knee. Her slender wrist under the boney weight of the man's knee stood no chance. It broke within seconds. Sara tried to scream but the sock prevented it._

_Once her legs were spread the man between her legs spit in his hands and grabbed his erection. He pushed forcefully into her. Tears streamed from Sara's eyes as she continued to try to scream. The pain from her wrist and the man pounding himself into her was nearly unbearable. _

_One of the men holding her down took a breast in his mouth as he stroked himself hard. After the first one was done with her, Sara's energy level was drained. But as the second move between her legs she struggled and fought again. It was futile, but she tried to fight anyway. Now it was the third mans turn. The other two held her face down on the couch while the remaining man entered her from behind. Before he ejaculated he grabbed her hair, pulling hard. They laughed as they had their way with her._

_They continued on and off for several hours. Once they left she was bound, naked, and bleeding on the floor behind her couch. Sara cried for what seemed like hours until she heard a knock on the door. For a moment she didn't want anyone to find her, but she needed help. Panic began to set in as she saw the door slowly open._

"_Sara?"_

_She began to try to talk against the sock in her mouth. The tears flowed freely as Catherine walked over to where she was. _

"_Oh my god, what happened?"_

_She helped remove the gag and the rope that bound her hands together. Sara sat up and cried into Catherine as she held her. _

"_We need to get you processed."_

"_No." her voice was shaky. "No please."_

"_Sara, we need to get who did this."_

"_Please." she choked out. _

_Catherine helped her clean up and took her to the hospital to get her wrist X-rayed. Sara took a morning after pill and they ran blood for possible STD's._

"_I need to tell Grissom."_

"_No! God, no."_

"_Sara, be reasonable."_

"_No. Please don't tell anyone. Please Cath."_

_Sara was practically begging._

"_Ok."_

* * *

Grissom was standing staring out the window as Sara finished. He didn't know that as she was telling her story Dr. Spencer had brought her out of her trance. She stood and moved over to Grissom leaning into his back she began to sob. For a second he didn't move but then he turned and embraced her as she cried into his chest while he held her. 

"Shhh. Sara it's ok. I'm here for you, alright?"

He moved her over to the couch and they sat down.

"Sara, I know this is going to be hard, but why didn't you want to find the men that did this to you?"

"I knew that everyone at the lab would have known about it. I didn't want that."

"Sara, why didn't you want, Catherine is it, to tell Grissom?"

"I didn't know how he would have reacted."

"What would you have done Grissom?"

"Tracked them down and killed them."

"See what I mean? Then you would have ended up in prison."

"Sara..." he turned to face her. "I would never let anyone get away with thinking they can hurt you. I don't care what that means for me."

"Dr. Grissom, how long have you been looking out for Sara?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious. You are constantly looking out for her specifically. From the descriptions of your past through Sara's eyes, you have been silently protecting her."

He thought for a moment.

"I guess you're right. I just didn't want to see her hurt physically."

"Yet you were the one to hurt her emotionally."

Grissom sucked in his bottom lip and began to chew on it.

"Sara, would you excuse us for a moment? You can go to your room. You did excellent today."

She stood and left Grissom with Dr. Taylor.

"Mr. Grissom, if you are planning to remain in a relationship with Sara, I suggest that you also look up a therapist to help you with your insecurities. She is going to need to draw a lot of positive energy off of you in order to keep her recovery going. I'm sure you are the kind of man that keeps his emotions pent up inside. But with Sara around you are going to need to trust her to share what's on your mind. You need to be there for her when she needs to talk. And she will be there for you. Sara is a very generous person. She waited around for years to develop a relationship with you. That takes patience. Don't worry about this relationship. Just think of filling her needs and being there for her. That's all it takes. Nothing complicated like you are thinking it is."

Grissom sat and let all of Dr. Taylor's advice sink into his brain.

"And for god sakes, don't analyze everything that happens. Just deal with it. You'll be fine. I'll see Sara for a few more days then you will be on your way, but she needs to keep seeing someone. You might want to also."

He stood and left Grissom sitting on the couch. He sat there for quite some time before standing and heading off to Sara.

She was nowhere to be seen as he walked into their room. He looked for her, and finally found her curled up in the middle of the big bed sound asleep. Grissom let her be and headed back out and walked to the large library. After picking out a book he settled in and began to read.

Sara woke up and checked the bedside clock. She had been asleep for several hours. She went in search of Grissom as he was nowhere to be seen. As she walked out of their room it came to her.

"The library."

She smiled at herself as she thought. 'God he can be so predictable.' And there he was sitting on the sofa reading. She curled up next to him as he put an arm around her. He kissed the top of her head and kept reading.

Sara did several more sessions with Dr. Taylor. It became more and more easy for her to open up to him. Grissom even did a session, trying to sort out his feelings and get over some of his fears.

They packed up their bags and got ready to head home. It had been several weeks since they had spoken to anyone back home. And now it was time for them to return to Vegas.

TBC

Please review. I likes to read them, and I have been getting some great ones. (You know who you are.)


	9. Home at Last

Chapter 9

Home At Last

"_The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them." Lois McMaster Bujold _

Grissom and Sara collapsed on the couch, exhausted from the drive. They decided to rent a car and take the scenic route to spend some time alone together. It took an additional four days. He took her through Yellowstone National Park and back down through northern Nevada. They took their time and saw all that was to be seen.

Sara laid her head in Grissom's lap and fell asleep. He put his head against the back of the couch and was asleep in no time.

He woke up to the rich smell of coffee filling the townhouse. Sara was already up and getting some food prepared when he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, you."

He smiled back at her as she served up dinner and they ate in silence.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Oh, I was just thinking about popping into the lab for a few hours."

"Don't like my company?" she teased.

"No. I enjoy your company. I was just thinking..."

"About the lab." She finished for him.

"Something like that."

"Gil, I know that you want to say something to Catherine. Please don't. It's been hard enough on me to bring this up. It was hard on her too. Please."

The look in her eyes struck him hard.

"Ok. I do want to check in on things."

"But leave it at that."

"I will. Are you going to be ok here by yourself?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. I'm going to take a shower."

She kissed his cheek and headed to the bathroom. Grissom grabbed a few things and left for the lab.

As he drove into the parking lot he realized there were no lights on in the building. Grissom walked in and greeted Judy.

"Oh, welcome back Dr. Grissom."

"Why is the power off?"

"A building down the road caught fire and the power lines are down. The emergency generators are running to the morgue, but the rest of the lab is without power."

"Great."

He started down the hall concluding the power had been off for some time. Every twenty feet was a candle to illuminate the hall. Before entering his office he looked to the break room and saw it was lit up fairly well. Music was also echoing through the halls. He decided to see what his team was up to. It wasn't working, obviously.

Grissom watched through the glass walls as he stopped short of the door. Nick was dancing with an attractive brunette while the others clapped along to the beat. He didn't immediately recognize the song but it was a country tune.

As they finished the others applauded. The woman noticed Grissom standing at the door and as she looked, the rest looked in his direction.

"Hey, Gil. You're back?"

"Yes Catherine, it appears so. What's... going on? He motioned with his hand as he talked.

"Oh, no power or new cases, so we're...ah... self entertaining."

"I see. Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Ah, sure."

They headed for his office and she sat in a chair in front of the desk.

"What's up?"

"Where's the file on the new CSI?"

She pointed to the file lying on top of the stack of files.

"Oh."

"How's Sara?"

"She's better."

"When can we visit?"

"I'll ask her when I get home. Kathy Cane, hun?"

"So far she's great. Nothing like Sara, but she's good. She fits in great and gets along with everyone."

He didn't respond as he looked over the newbie's file.

"Is there anything else?"

"I know what happened to Sara." His voice was low and cold sounding.

"What are you talking about, Gil?"

He set the file down harder than intended. "Don't bullshit me Catherine. I know she was gang raped. You knew and did nothing."

"Because she wanted me to do nothing. But what she doesn't know is that I did collect several small pieces of evidence. It's in an unmarked box with my name on it in the evidence locker."

He eyed her carefully, the anger was clearly written on his face.

"Gil, I have a few swabs and prints that I got while she was at the hospital. But I never ran them. I couldn't betray what she had asked of me."

After several deep breaths he composed himself enough to speak. "I'll check into it. In the meantime can you send in Kathy?"

"Sure."

She left and Grissom continued to read over the file.

Kathy Cane strode in and sat down in front of the desk.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I see you're from Houston. Why did you accept this position here in Vegas?"

"I've lived my whole life in Houston. I needed a change of scenery, and a challenge."

"Well you will find a never ending supply of them here in Vegas. I also need you to make a donation."

"What kind of a donation?"

"I collect a pint of blood from all of my new CSI's."

"For like a blood type or DNA thing?"

"No, that's already been done. This is for me."

"Ok, what the hell are you going to do with my blood?"

"Use it for experiments or whatever I see fit."

He collected her blood and sent her on her way. Since the power had yet to come back on, Grissom walked down to the evidence locker by flashlight. It took some time but once he found what he was looking for, Grissom headed straight off to process the evidence.

By the end of the shift the power had returned and he found himself looking at two names. Johnnie Holt and Jeremiah Holt. Two brothers that had priors for sexual assault several years ago. Grissom felt his anger begin to rise as he read through their files.

He closed the folders and headed home to Sara.

Sara was making breakfast when he walked in.

"Hey, how's the lab?"

"The power was out most of the night. So uneventful. Did you sleep ok?"

"Not really. You weren't there."

He smiled at her.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

They ate making quiet conversation. Grissom was debating whether to tell her about the evidence that Catherine had collected. He remembered Dr. Taylor's advice. 'No more secrets.' And that advice he was going to take.

"Sara, I need to tell you something."

She looked up from her empty plate and waited for him to continue.

"I did tell Catherine that I know about what happened to you. And for your information I kept my cool."

"I'm glad. But that's not all is it?"

"Can't get anything by you, can I? Anyway, she did collect some evidence. But never processed it, only stored it. Well… I processed it."

He waited for her reaction. A shocked expression was all that greeted him.

"I got two hits off of AFIS."

Again he waited. Finally she responded.

"Let me see."

He stood and retrieved the files. Sara opened the cover and upon seeing the picture of the two men, her breakfast quickly returned. Grissom stood quickly to avoid the splatter. He retrieved a damp wash cloth and helped clean up Sara's face.

After cleaning up the kitchen table Grissom took a shower and headed to bed. Sara joined him shortly after and curled into him as she drifted off to sleep.

Later that afternoon Grissom took Sara to see the psychiatrist that Dr. Taylor had set her up with.

"You go ahead and go to the lab. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? I can wait."

"No, it's fine. Go ahead. I'll get a cab home."

"If that's what you want, then alright. I'll see you in the morning."

He leaned in and gently kissed her soft lips. Sara watched him leave and went in to see her shrink.

Sara paid the cab driver and entered Grissom's townhouse. A place she had called home several times and hoped to continue to call home. She sat at the table and looked over the file again.

Her fear was replaced by anger the more she looked over the brothers records. They were charged, but never formally brought to trial. Several cases the women died in their homes. In the last charge they copped a plea for a lesser sentence. Sara's rage began to spill. Justice was never given to these women and because she decided to keep hers a secret, other women suffered. She grabbed the keys to Grissom's Mercedes and headed out.

TBC

Thank you once again to my betas, Just Thinking and GSfanatic. It might be another week before I can update. I started school on Wed. and have a bunch of home work already. Thanks also to those who reviewed. I always enjoy reading them.


	10. Peace of Mind

I want to dedicate this chapter to a certian someone. You know who you are. Enjoy.

Chapter 10

Peace Of Mind

"_A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week." George S. Patton_

Sara drove over to her apartment. She wasn't thinking very clearly as she opened the door. But what she saw upon entering was enough to get her brain going.

The entire place was spotless. The heavy smell of pine cleaner flooded her nostrils. Items that were once scattered were neatly placed back on shelves or in drawers. She walked cautiously to her bedroom. Sara stopped in front of the bathroom door. With a heavy sigh she slowly opened the door and walked in.

Bleach. She inhaled the sharp sent of bleach as she looked at herself in the mirror then down at the floor next to the porcelain bowl. There she had died and been reborn. Now it was time to make use of it.

She headed back to the bedroom and fished under her bed for something in particular. Once she had it she pulled out the small lock box. It had been years since she had seen it, let alone opened it.

The combination was easily remembered and she opened the lid to reveal the soft red velvet interior. Sara cracked a smile as she ran her fingers over the cool black steel of the Beretta. The M9A1. It was the gun her brother had sent her after her attack. Their father kept a similar gun in the house, and she was convinced that this was in fact his gun. Her brother never confirmed nor denied her accusations. She had never checked the registration. And if it was indeed her father's, then there would be no record of the ownership.

Sara sat on the bed and looked around at the once familiar surroundings. Home was now at Grissom's. She laid back down on the bed thinking about what she was intending to do, and shut her eyes.

Grissom and Catherine were called out by Brass to a hostage situation. Only when they arrived did they find out the true reason they were summoned.

"Gil, isn't that your car?"

Catherine pointed to the Mercedes that was parked in the street one house down.

He looked at it and answered, "Yeah. What's it doing here?"

Grissom looked at the address on the house that was surrounded. It was one that had been burning his retinas for the last few hours.

"Sara." it was a whisper, but Catherine heard it.

"Sara?"

Grissom didn't acknowledge her question.

"Gil, are you saying that Sara is in there?"

He ran over to Brass and the officer in charge.

"Jim, have you had any contact with the people inside?"

"No."

"I need to get in there."

"What!? Gil, your nuts!"

"Jim, Sara's in there. And that house belongs to the men who ra..." The bile rose in his throat. It was the one word that he couldn't say regarding Sara in the same sentence without feeling sick.

He didn't have to finish. Brass understood loud and clear.

"Gil, I still can't let you go in there."

Just then Sofia came running up.

"Jim, Sara's in there. She's holding a gun on two men. What's going on?"

"Damn it. I need to go in there. I can talk her out."

Brass looked at Catherine and could read the answer in her eyes.

"You're wearing a vest. No excuses. And I want you to wear a wire. We need to be able to hear what's going on in there."

"Fine."

Within minutes Grissom was approaching the front door. He palmed the door knob and inhaled deeply. Slowly he opened the door and peeked in.

"Sara? Sara, where are you?"

"Go away, Grissom."

He entered and quietly shut the door behind him. Every curtain was drawn making the house light deprived. A sense of small relief came to him, if he couldn't see out, then the trigger happy SWAT couldn't see in.

"Honey, lets think this through. If you stop now and let them go..."

"Don't fill me of shit Grissom. They need to pay for what they have done. To me and to those other women. Justice will be served one way or another."

Grissom crept along the carpeted floors, following the sound of her voice.

"Sara, I'm coming in."

He rounded the corner to the small den and looked the situation over.

The two men were bound and gagged on the floor. Sara was sitting on the couch holding a gun on them. The room was darker than the others. She had the blinds pulled down tight, letting little light seep in.

He could see the tear stains on her cheek.

"Sara, I know that you want justice. Lets do this the right way."

"The right way? Ha! You don't get it, do you Grissom? I need peace of mind. Those other women need peace of mind. And with Beavis and Butthead here running loose, I can never have that."

Grissom noticed movement outside of the window and fear overcame him.

"Sara, please listen to me. If you shoot them here and now, the chances of you walking out of here with me alive are slim to none. The entire house is surrounded by trigger happy cops. Please be reasonable. Honey, I love you. Give me the gun and lets go home. Cath and I have enough evidence to get them convicted. But in order to put them away for life I need your testimony. Come on Sara. Speak out for the ones who can't, use your voice to be their voice. Lets put them behind bars where they belong."

"They belong in hell!"

She raised the gun slightly and outside Grissom heard the sudden commotion. He lunged at Sara as she raised the gun. It discharged once as he struggled to get it away from her. Grissom thought he heard the window shatter.

Suddenly there was a sharp pain in his shoulder as he fell on top of Sara. SWAT charged the building followed by Brass, Catherine, and the rest of the team. All of them had their weapons drawn at him and Sara.

Grissom slid the gun away from her and looked into her face. It was unreadable. He pushed himself up and all the blood drained from his face.

"Oh, my God! Get a paramedic here now!" He ordered.

Brass was quickly on the radio. Grissom put his arms around Sara and pulled her upper body into his lap. Using his hand he attempted to slow the blood flowing from the hole in her chest.

"Griss." Sara whispered.

"Shhh. Don't talk."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. Just be still. Damn it, where are they!"

"They'll be here in a minute." Brass replied.

SWAT had taken the brothers out leaving Brass and the CSI's alone.

"Hold on, Sara."

"I love you, Gil."

As much as he tried, the tears slid down Grissom's cheek.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye, so don't you either."

"I'm cold."

"Just hold on. Please. I love you. Don't leave me."

Her eyes slowly slid shut.

"Sara?...Sara!"

TBC

Don't hate me just yet. Thanks to my betas. Especially Gsfanatic, I couldn't have done it without you.


	11. Changes

Sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. Between school and writers block, it's been a nightmare. I have to give a big shout out to my betas: **GSfanatic**, **Just Thinking**, and my moral supporter **thegreatbluespoon**. You guys rock.

* * *

Chapter 11

Changing

"_Things do not change; we change." Henry David Thoreau_

Grissom wiped a single tear that streaked down Sara's pale face. Her breathing had suddenly changed drastically, almost non-existent. As his hand lingered on her face her suddenly realized how warm she was.

"Sara. Honey wake up." he whispered in her ear as he leaned over her.

He took the gun from her grasp, and set it aside, continually trying to rouse her. His concern growing each passing minute.

"Hey, wake up."

She stirred as he increased the volume in his voice.

"I'm cold," she squeaked out.

"Come on Sara, you have to get up."

Her entire body shivered. Grissom pulled a blanket over her in an attempt to curb the chills that had suddenly swept over her. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her out to his Denali. He left her only to lock up her apartment and his car, then headed back to his house.

Grissom quickly took her inside and laid her on their bed. He stripped her of her sweat soaked clothes and dressed her in her pajamas. After changing her, he returned to the kitchen to make some hot tea and make a call.

"Al, Gil. Listen if you have a chance do you think you could stop by and take a look at Sara for me? She has a fever, and I don't want to take her to a hospital if I don't have to...Thanks. I'll be waiting."

Grissom poured a cup of the hot liquid when the doorbell rang. He opened the door and let Doc Robbins inside.

"Thank you for coming."

"Not a problem, where is she?"

He led Al to the bed room. Sara was moaning and fighting with the covers. Grissom sat down beside her and attempted to calm her down and hold her still while Doc examined her.

"It's hard to say exactly what is causing this, but first thing off the top of my head is, viral infection. The fever, cold sweat, and I bet she's even hallucinating. I can make a call to a pharmacy and get her some medication. She's a little dehydrated. If you give her some medicine and if she doesn't improve in the next 12 to 24 hours, she needs to be hospitalized."

"I understand."

"Keep her warm, dry, and hydrated. Hopefully it will work its self through."

Doc headed out giving a tap to Grissom's shoulders, he turned to look at Al.

"I always knew you loved her."

And with that he showed himself out. Grissom turned to look at Sara.

"I guess in this whole fairy tale, I am the one who's blind."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then retrieved her tea and forced a few swallows in her. For now he was content with that. After making sure she had settled down he headed out to retrieve her medication.

Grissom was to the neighboring pharmacy and back in record time. He locked the door and headed to Sara. She was still curled up in the blankets. Grissom got her to at least swallow some of the liquid concoction, then climbed into bed beside her, using his warmth to help her rid herself of this intruder. Even though it was too hot for him under all the blankets and next to her heated body, Grissom stuck it out and sacrificed his comfort to heal her.

It was hours later before he woke up. His entire body was covered in sweat. Then he remembered Sara. Grissom turned to see her resting comfortably, she wasn't tossing and turning like before. He had to get out of his wet clothes and take a shower. It was a quick one, but that's all he required. He looked in on Sara before going into the other room to relax a little himself, and before long he was asleep on the couch.

The doorbell brought him out of his state of relaxation. Grissom stood and moved to open the door revealing Catherine and Warrick.

"That's not quite the look I had you pegged for."

Grissom looked down at himself. He was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

"Sorry."

He scurried away to put on his robe. Catherine and Warrick made themselves at home and waited for him on the couch.

"Where's Sara?"

"She's sick. I mean really sick, fever, sweats, shakes, you name it."

"Poor girl." Warrick's voice was soft and soothing.

"I had Al stop by and check her out. She's resting comfortably right now."

"So, why do you look so on edge?"

"I found her in her apartment, laying on the bed clutching a gun."

Catherine and Warrick were both speechless.

"I don't know what her intentions were, but I'm glad I found her when I did."

"You don't think she would attempt suicide, do you?"

"No, but I did see the file for the two men in the front seat of my car. I think she was contemplating killing them Cath."

"Wait, two men? I'm confused."

They both told Warrick the dirty little secret of Sara Sidle and Catherine Willows. He took it much better than Grissom had.

Warrick jumped at the opportunity. "Let me run with this. I'll nail theses bastard's, our way."

"Ok, on one condition."

"What's that?"

"In order to get the file you need to bring my car back here for me."

Warrick and Catherine smiled, as Grissom tossed him the keys.

"Deal."

They left and once again, and to put his mind at ease he went to check on Sara. This time she was awake, and he moved to lay beside her.

"Hey, how do you feel?"

"Tired."

"Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

"Just thirsty."

"Be right back."

He jumped up to retrieve some reheated tea. Sara slowly drank it while he watched. She smiled at him as he reached over to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.

"Your hair is wet."

He moved his hand farther south along her back.

"So are your clothes. What do you say you take a shower and get into some clean, dry clothes.?"

"Sounds good."

In the back of his mind Grissom couldn't help but ponder about what Catherine had said about her trying to kill herself. He shook the thought from his mind and helped her into the bathroom.

Sara stood under the hot spray of water until it started to run cold. When she pulled back the shower curtain he was there waiting with a large fluffy towel. Grissom helped her dry off and get her dressed in warm clothes.

"What did I ever do without you?"

He smiled at her comment.

"I was wondering the same thing myself. Are you hungry? You need to eat."

"I could do some eggs and toast. Nothing heavy."

Grissom escorted her to the kitchen where he prepared her something to eat.

"Griss..."

'Here we go.' he thought.

"...What do you think I was going to do? With the gun I mean."

He sighed as he spooned the eggs onto a plate next to the toast. Grissom just looked at her as he slid the plate across the table.

"I don't want to think about it Sara. It doesn't matter. You're not there, you're here with me."

Grissom gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Catherine and Warrick came over while you were sleeping. Warrick's going to make sure they pay for what they did. Okay? Don't worry about it anymore. Now, eat."

"Yes, sir."

They shared a smile and spent the rest of the day laying in bed as a change in their lives broke the horizon with the setting sun.

TBC

Thank you to those who have reviewed. I hope I didn't fool anyone into thinking I had killed Sara. Leave your responses.


	12. Evidence

Instead of doing my homework, I'm writing fanfiction. I'm insane. I got to give credit to my beta's; GSfanatic, Just Thinking, and to the joker, thegreatbluespoon. You are a riot Jess.

Chapter 12

Evidence

"_An efficient and valuable man does what he can, whether the community pay him for it or not."_ _Henry David Thoreau_

Grissom lazily opened his eyes. He could tell by the luminance in the room that the sun had already set. When he positioned his head to look at Sara, she was already awake looking right back at him.

"I guess I must have fallen asleep."

"You needed to, you were just as tired as I was."

"How do you feel?"

"Like I'm on one of your roller coasters, up and down, up and down."

It took him a second to place the analogy, but once he got it, the pieces all fell into place. So he smiled at her.

"I want to talk about why I went over to my apartment."

He scooted himself up to a sitting position.

"I know what my intentions were, but somehow I don't remember how I got there."

"You must have been experiencing symptoms from the virus. Doc said you were probably hallucinating."

"About that, I did have a dream, but it was so real. I had gone to the house and held the two brothers hostage. You came in to talk me down, but a sniper took a pot shot through the window. I remember lying in your arms feeling so cold, and you were pleading for me to wake up."

"The last part is real, and you did have a gun in your hands. Sara..." He shifted more so he could face her. "...I want you to know that I would never let anyone hurt you."

Grissom raised his hand to softly caress her cheek. He raised an eyebrow when his hand made contact with her skin. Then he moved his hand to her forehead.

"What's with the look?"

"Are you sure you are feeling alright? You feel awfully warm to me."

"I'm pretty sure."

"I'm going to get a thermometer. Stay here."

Grissom rushed to retrieve the instrument and was back at her side.

"Here."

Sara opened her mouth and Grissom put the thermometer under her tongue.

"Whhattz it saay?"

"Don't try to talk with it in your mouth."

"Sawry."

He rolled his eyes at her, and then the thermometer beeped. Grissom removed it and read the screen.

"What's it say?"

"102.4. You still have a fever; no matter how good you think you feel."

"But I feel alright."

"Your body is still fighting this. I'll fix you some soup and hot tea. Then you need to take more of the medicine Doc prescribed. That stuff knocked you on your ass for a while."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

Grissom headed off to fulfill his promise, soup and tea for Sara. By the time he returned to the bedroom she had changed pajama's and was waiting in bed.

"I could get used to this."

"Get use to what?"

"Being waited on hand and foot."

"Eat."

He handed her the bowl and she began to sip the hot liquid.

"Can I stay here?"

The sudden question caught Grissom off guard.

"Of course you can stay here."

"I mean..."

"You want to live here?" She nodded. "I was working up the courage to ask you that myself."

She smiled.

"What about my apartment?"

"I think the new CSI is still looking for a place. Sublet it to her until she can take over the lease."

"What about my things?"

"I'll handle it. You concentrate on getting better."

Once she had finished her soup he forced a few tablespoons of the nasty concoction into her. Grissom concluded it was terrible tasting by the way she screwed up her face as she swallowed. But it did the trick, in about 10 minutes it was impossible for her to keep her eyes open. He tucked her in under the covers and kissed her cheek goodnight.

A knock on the front door signaled it was time to work.

Grissom opened the door and Warrick walked in with a white evidence box.

"Table?"

"Yeah, we'll work there."

Warrick placed the box on the table and removed the lid.

"How's Sara?"

"She's doing better."

Warrick smiled and nodded.

"This is the only box that had anything about the Holt brothers. Sherry Mills, she was gang raped in her home. Her best friend found her bound and gagged."

"Why didn't this go to court?"

"According to the report, Sherry didn't press charges."

"It's sad, these women are brutally assaulted, and can't find the courage to face the perpetrator. We need to find her and ask her if she can at least identify them. Is there an address?"

"Yeah, but I don't think we'll find her there."

"Why?"

"She committed suicide several weeks after the attack."

Grissom sighed and let his head fall into his hands.

"Don't we have enough circumstantial evidence to bring them in?"

"It's still being processed. So far the only thing concrete is that the semen from Sherry Mills and from Sara are from the same two men."

Both Warrick and Grissom fought back the bile that rose in their throats. It was still hard to imagine Sara being raped in her own home.

"We're thinking about this all wrong."

Warrick gave a confused look.

"Just humor me for a second. We have two victims, one alive, one dead. We need to talk to Sherry Mills' friend, the one who found her. Get Brass to help you track her down. We need to get her to testify about how she found her. Catherine found Sara in similar circumstances. We have DNA comparisons, both matched the Holt brothers."

"I don't know Griss, that's a stretch don't you think?"

"No. Lets move on this. I'll be in the lab if you need me."

Warrick gathered some files and headed out. Grissom walked back to the bedroom. Sara was sound asleep. He didn't want to disturb her, so he left her a note saying that he would be at the lab.

Grissom headed to his office but was stopped by Catherine.

"Did you guys find anything useful?"

"We are following up on a few leads." He took her by the elbow and continued towards his office. "Do you think you could testify on Sara's behalf?"

"Hell yeah I could. You didn't have to ask."

"I know. Hey, this is off subject, but I need help clearing out Sara's apartment."

"Where is she going to stay? Never mind, dumb question."

"I thought Kathy could take over the lease, if she hasn't found anywhere permanent yet."

"I'll ask her. I'll also get the boys together one day and we'll get everything packed for Sara. How is she?"

"She still has a fever, but she does look better."

"That's good. Hey, I've gotta run, think you can hand out assignments?"

Grissom checked his watch.

"You haven't passed them out yet?"

"No." She smiled and quickly walked out.

Grissom picked up the papers on his desk and read over them as he walked to the break room.

"Ok, it's just the three of you tonight. Nick, 419 behind the Stratosphere. Greg, smash and grab, they have the suspect in custody, so when you're finished processing, help Nick. Kathy, 419, a trick roll, they have the John in custody."

"What about Warrick? I saw him here a while ago. Why doesn't he have a case or back one of us up on ours?" Kathy voiced her opinion. Nick and Greg remained still and stared her down.

"He's working a case with me. If you need help let me know, I'll find someone."

"Oh, I'm not going to need help. But why's this case so special?"

Nick and Greg continued to stare at her, their eyes pleading her to shut up.

"Kathy, worry about your own case."

She stood to leave but stopped next to Grissom.

"Does this have anything to do with the woman lying in your bed?"

Both Nick and Greg's heads slammed on the table, not wanting to see what was to transpire.

Grissom turned and grabbed her elbow. "My office now!" The words were strained through his gritted teeth.

He nearly threw her through the doorway as he paused only to slam the door.

"Sit down. If you have any intention of keeping your job here, you are going to have to learn when to shut your mouth. And for your information, yes, we are working on the rape of CSI Sidle. Also on the rape of Sherry Mills. She was raped by the same guys, only she never pressed charges and then took her own life. We have new evidence that is coming in, and we are going to see where it takes us. To answer your next question, yes, we are pushing this because of Sara. But if I hear another lewd comment like that out of your mouth again, you won't get a second chance. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Go to your scene. Call if you need any help."

"Okay."

Greg caught up with her to explain Grissom a little better to her, while Nick took a deep breath and knocked.

"You ok boss?"

"I will be."

Grissom sat in one of the chairs that flanked his desk. Nick sat in the other.

"She just doesn't know you like the rest of us. I'll admit she's pretty hot headed, and doesn't back down from a fight. Sound familiar?"

Grissom smiled.

"I just want to nail these bastards Nicky." He sighed loudly.

"I know, and if anyone can, it's you and Warrick. How's Sara doing? Catherine said she's sick."

"She's better. Why don't you stop by after shift and see her?"

"I was going to anyway."

Nick rose from his seat and headed for the door, but he stopped and turned to Grissom.

"Hey, Griss."

"Yeah."

"Relax, we got your back." And with that he left.

Grissom took another few minutes to calm down. Just as he was going to leave his cell phone rang.

"Grissom."

"Hey, it's Jim. You're not going to believe this, but we caught them in the act."

Grissom was confused.

"Caught who in the act?"

"Johnnie and Jeremiah Holt."

Grissom stood, "Where are you?"

TBC

Good question Grissom, where are you? I hope **you** are waiting for the little box to load so you can leave me a much appreciated review.


	13. Attack

Thanks to those who are still reading this piece. I hope you will aslo check out my new story, Teens & Tribulations. Thanks again to my beta's Just Thinking and GSfanatic.

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Chapter 13

Attack

"_When anger rises, think of the consequences." Confucius _

Grissom headed out of his office and noticed Catherine and Warrick at the end of the hall.

"Hey you two, load up."

They exchanged a glance but as soon as they looked back towards Grissom, he was already gone. When they caught up with him in the parking lot he explained the situation.

Catherine was concerned at the way Grissom was driving. He was weaving in and out of traffic and taking corners way too fast. Then Catherine realized why.

The tires screeched to a halt out side of Sara's old apartment complex. Grissom was out of the vehicle and running towards Brass.

"Where is she?"

Brass pointed to the paramedics. Grissom ran up to her. He looked at her quivering form wrapped in the heavy blanket, then knelt in front of her.

"Sara?"

She looked at him. The bruise on her face more than told him what happened. He stood and scanned the area with his piercing blue eyes until they narrowed on his target.

Grissom was walking with purpose at first, but when he was within range of Johnnie Holt, he broke into a run. No one was aware of what his intentions were until it was too late.

Grissom tackled Johnnie like a linebacker sacking a quarterback. Johnnie's body hit the ground with such force and with the added weight of Grissom, his shoulder dislocated and his clavicle broke. Johnnie was unable to fight back due to the hand cuffs. Grissom didn't care and was able to get in a few good hits to his face before three officers tore him away.

Brass jumped in the middle while Catherine and Warrick watched. Grissom continued to yell profanities at Johnnie.

"Get him out of here!" Brass instructed.

It took several more officers and the use of hand cuffs to drag Grissom away. Brass then looked down at Johnnie.

"That ass hole broke my shoulder."

"You'll live." He walked over to Catherine. "Hey, Sara's over there. She won't talk to me."

"I'll try." She replied.

Brass talked with Warrick going over the entire situation.

"Neighbor heard a commotion, came out found these two on top of Sara, called for help. I responded, knowing the address."

"Did they..."

"I don't think they had time." Brass said releasing a sigh.

Warrick looked over at Johnnie, who was being attended to.

"Where's the brother?"

"Over there."

Brass pointed to Jeremiah, he was lying on the grass clutching his leg. Warrick looked back to Brass.

"He tried to run."

"So you shot him?"

"Not me, but I wasn't going to chase him."

Warrick shook his head and began to process.

"Sara, you alright?" Catherine asked.

She nodded.

"We're going to take you to the hospital and get you checked out, ok?"

"Where's Gil?"

"He's... occupied for the moment. He'll meet us there." She climbed into the ambulance and they drove off.

Brass was relieved to see the ambulance take Sara away. He sighed and headed to where Grissom was being detained. The officer opened the door to the cruiser.

"Are you going to play nice?"

"Dammit Jim!" Grissom yelled.

Brass shut the door and walked back to Warrick. He could hear Grissom venting in the back ground.

Warrick looked up.

"What's that noise?"

"Oh, that, it's just Gil. Can we get these guys out of here already so I can let him out?"

"Yeah, I'm done with them."

The brothers were hauled away. Once again Brass went to confront Grissom.

"Sara's been taken to the hospital, if you want to go, I'm driving. I'll even take the cuffs off if you behave."

Grissom bit his tongue and nodded. Brass pulled him from the car and un-cuffed him. They headed to the hospital. Grissom was silent the entire trip, but Brass could see the anger steaming off of him.

Brass kept Grissom at his side when they arrived. If some poor nurse didn't tell him what he wanted to know the minute he asked, it wouldn't be pretty. So Brass did all the talking. It took a short period of time before she informed them of the room Sara was in. And it didn't come a moment too soon, as Brass was unable to keep his hold on Grissom.

He trailed Grissom as they entered Sara's room. Catherine was with her just about to do a rape exam when he burst in.

"Grissom, what the hell?" Catherine said.

He pulled Sara into his arms as she finally broke down and cried. Grissom held her until she calmed down.

"I'm not done examining her yet Gil."

Catherine looked at Brass who stepped out, but Grissom refused to leave. He laid Sara back on the bed and hovered over her. She gripped his hands as Catherine positioned her legs. Grissom looked into her eyes sending her silent messages, but when he heard Catherine's voice, he let his tears fall.

"There's no sign of trauma."

Grissom let his head fall onto Sara and she cried again, her arms clutching him to her chest. Grissom felt an enormous weight being lifted from his shoulders with those words. They let their emotions play out for some time, but the question that Sara knew he needed to ask finally surfaced.

"Sara, why were you there?"

"I went to get some more clothes. I don't know if they followed me or were there waiting for someone."

Grissom wrapped his arms around her. He held her tight, trying to protect her from this world that had turned its back on her.

"Take me home Grissom."

"Alright. Let's go."

Sara dressed in hospital scrubs and left in Grissom's embrace.

Once home, the first thing she did was take a hot shower. Grissom sat on the couch thankful that they had the brothers in custody. It was the relief he had been waiting for. He was still deep in thought when Sara sat next to him on the couch.

"What are you thinking?"

"How happy I am. You're safe and here with me." he wrapped his arms around her and held her as they drifted off to sleep.

TBC


	14. Friends

Unfourtunately all good things must come to an end. I want to thank those of you that are still reading this, and for your wonderful reviews. Thanks to my beta's, Just Thinking, GSfanatic, and thegreatbluespoon. Please take the time to read my other fic-in progress, check out my web site, or view my vid's on whoiskeppler. Feel free to drop me a line any time to say hi. I always enjoy meeting new people. Thanks again, and enjoy this last installment.

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Chapter 14

Friends

"_Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them." Publilius Syrus_

Grissom spent the day lounging on the couch keeping Sara in close proximity, it was if she got too far away from him, she would get hurt. When it came time for him to leave for the lab, he was reluctant to her alone, but she convinced him that she would be fine, so he took her at her word and headed off to the lab

He made the short walk to the break room and found Warrick and Catherine absent.

"Where's Catherine and Warrick?"

Nick spoke up, "Oh, well Catherine said you knew where they would be."

Grissom's eye's narrowed as he thought for a moment, then he remembered.

"Ok, I remembered something I have to do, so you guys sort out these on your own." Grissom laid the three slips on the table and turned to walk out, but stopped and gave a final instruction. "Greg, you take the B&E."

"Oh man." Greg complained.

Grissom walked through the halls of the lab heading for Brass' office. When he arrived he noticed Brass was gone, but his car keys laid on the desk, Grissom headed to the next possible location. He approached Catherine as she was looking through the two way glass.

"Gil, what are you doing here?"

He looked through the glass. "Your interrogating Johnnie Holt. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Brass and I thought it would be better if you didn't know."

Grissom pursed his lips and watched as Brass questioned Johnnie.

"So let me get this straight, you and your brother would just cruise around looking for women to rape."

"Not just any women. They have to be tall, athletic, brunette, and feisty. We like a woman who likes it rough."

Grissom swiftly moved around Catherine, she knew what his intentions were this time, and banged on the glass. Brass stood and moved to lock the door. He got there just in time as Grissom was ready to come barreling in to give Johnnie a piece of his mind.

"What the hell is that guys problem with me?" Johnnie asked.

Brass turned around. "You and your brother raped his girlfriend."

"So, why's he here?"

"He's a criminalist here. He puts scum like you and your brother in jail."

Johnnie shut his mouth and stayed quiet. Once Grissom had stopped banging on the door, Brass went out to talk to him.

"Gil, you shouldn't be here."

"Like hell. That asshole is the reason Sara went through what she did these past few weeks. I just want to give him a piece of my mind."

"Yeah, I bet." Brass said sarcastically. "Listen, we have enough to put both of them behind bars for a long time. If you go barging in there and beat the shit out of him, he's going to get away scotch free. You need to take your anger out on something else."

Grissom took in several deep breaths and waited until his blood pressure had semi-returned to normal.

"Your right, I'll be in my office. Keep me informed."

"You'll be the first to know anything."

Catherine watched as the steam rise from Grissom as he headed back to his office. Once in his darkened sanctuary, Grissom sat down behind the desk and called Sara.

"Hello." her sleepy voice answered.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah, but I was thinking of you."

Grissom didn't immediately answer as his eyes soften and his anger level dropped a few octaves.

"Are you alright Gil?"

"Yeah, I just needed to hear your voice."

"Well I'm glad you called. Are you going to be home on time?"

"I'll try. I miss you already."

"I miss you too. Don't you think you should get back to work?"

"Nah, it's just paper work." He let out a very audible sigh.

"What's bothering you?"

"Brass and Catherine are...un...well..."

"They are questioning the guys who attacked me?" Sara finished for him.

Grissom nodded before he realized she couldn't see him. "Yeah. I don't know how to feel."

"You're angry Gil, it's a normal response. The man needing to protect his mate."

Grissom pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow as he unfolded her analogy. "You heard?"

"Yes, Catherine told me. My knight in shining armor."

Grissom smiled. "I just want to keep you safe."

"And I'm grateful. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Sara?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too Gil. See you when you get home."

"Bye." Grissom hung up the phone, and sank back into his chair.

He sat staring at the many shelves holding his precious items. But he soon realized that the truly precious thing that he possessed was at home laying in his bed. Grissom released a smile as he thought of Sara.

"Now that's a better look on you."

Grissom turned to see Brass standing in the door.

"I was just thinking."

Brass entered and sat down. "And I bet I know who?"

Again Grissom smiled as Brass continued. "Johnnie's doing a tell all. He's revealed the third person that was involved in Sara's first attack. And confessed to several others. How's Sara doing?"

"Better than me. She's so strong Jim, I don't know how she can cope with something like that?"

"She has you. A relationship is all about knowing and trusting each other. You and Sara know each other's little quirks that the rest of us don't know. Just try to think sensibly, and for God sakes, don't analyze everything."

"You're divorced and here you are giving me relationship tips."

"Well, my ex cheated on me. I don't see that happening to you. That woman cherishes you Gil. All you have to do is love her back."

"I do love her Jim."

"I know." Brass stood and headed out with a better feeling of how Grissom is feeling.

Grissom sat back for a second absorbing everything that Brass spoke. He saw Kathy walk past carrying a sack of evidence, and he stood and tracked her down.

"Hey, Kathy."

She stopped and turned to face him. "Yes Dr. Grissom."

He shook his head. "It's just Grissom, what case did you take?"

"Oh, mine turned out to be a false report, so I helped Nick process his scene." She took a step back. "I hope that was alright?"

Grissom realized that after their prior incident that she was afraid of making him mad again. "No, I'm glad you were so thoughtful. Keep me posted." He turned and walked back to his office and heard her release the breath she was holding.

After spending some time doing paper work Grissom realized how much control he had lost over himself the past several days. It was unlike him in every way. He figured his emotions were running high and just overtook him completely. Grissom called Sara again to check on her, then he sent out some pages and decided to call it a day.

* * *

Catherine was talking to Brass in his office when her pager beeped and his cell phone rang. She checked her message and looked to Brass. "Did you get what I got?" She asked. 

He smiled and they began to wrap up their discussion. They left together and were the first ones who arrived at the diner. Catherine picked out a large table as Kathy, Warrick, Nick, and Greg made their entrance.

"What's this about?" Nick asked.

Catherine shrugged her shoulders, "Your guess is as good as mine."

They all took a seat and order a round of coffee. Conversation was going good when Grissom walked in with Sara. Silence overtook the table as they sat down.

Grissom looked over the group. "I suppose you want to know why I have asked you all here?"

Heads simultaneously nodded around the table.

"Well..." Grissom continued. "...I thought we needed to all get together as a team and family, to sit down, relax, and share a nice breakfast together. I know these past days I have been a nuisance to you all, so this is my may of saying 'thank you for understanding'. Order what you want breakfast is on me."

The chatting continued and stories were told. Grissom was happy to see Sara having a good time. She needed it as much as he did. Everyone shared a laughs, most were directed towards Greg.

After breakfast Grissom, Sara, Catherine, and Brass were the only ones who remained in the diner. The four sat silently drinking coffee. Brass couldn't take it any more. "So, what's in the cards for you two now?"

Grissom and Sara shared a look. "I don't know Jim, but what I do know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Grissom looked at Sara.

Catherine caught it. "Sounds like a proposal to me." Brass nearly chocked on his coffee and shot a look at Catherine, then to Grissom and Sara.

Grissom continued to look at Sara, "I guess it was. Sara would you spend the rest of your life with me?"

Tears began to fill her eyes. "But I'm damaged goods."

"What a coincidence, so am I."

She giggled and said, "Yes, I would love to spend the rest of my life with you."

He leaned forward to kiss her and she met him half way.

"Hey Jim, do you have a calender on you?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to mark this date, the day Gil Grissom got his head out of the microscope."

Grissom shot her a sarcastic glare and couldn't help but smile. They continued to finish their coffee, as of right now in peace.

The End

I hope it was the ending several of you were looking for. I left it open. Maybe I'll come up with an idea for a second part. Let me know what you think of it and thanks for reading.


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